I love Christmas.

I want to deck the halls on November 1st despite the fact that I am always outvoted and have to wait impatiently until after Thanksgiving to pick out the perfect tree. I love seeing houses decorated with strings of lights and drinking hot chocolate. And I may be the only person in the service industry that still listens to Christmas music when I am off the clock.

But this is the first year that I have felt truly burnt out during my favorite time of the year.

I am feeling a lot of pressure. Pressure at work because it is the busiest time of the year and the most crucial time to make their numbers. Pressure to reconcile my goals for the year because somehow 2018 is peaking around the corner to remind me that I failed at some of my resolutions. Pressure of getting my “adult” life together because I am getting closer and closer to 30.

It makes me feel out of control, which in turn makes me feel frantic, scatterbrained and, sometimes, sad. I intended for this post to be about taking care of yourself during the holiday season, but instead I have for you my list of what I am trying in order to get out of this holiday funk:

1. Gratitude is something I try to implement every month. While November is the obvious month for being thankful, I think it is important not to stop the momentum in December. Just the fact that I have the ability to post this is something to be grateful for and that is helpful in itself!
2. Gift giving is actually not my love language at all, but this is the time of year that I get to show my loved ones my appreciation. Even if it is just something small, I try to be intentional and think about them as a person, their interests or inside jokes. This helps me hone in on my relationships and how important these people are to me and how grateful I am for them in my life (see #1).
3. Goals can always evolve and change for the upcoming year. It doesn’t do any good to freak out over not being able to complete some goals for 2017. Instead, if the goal was so important to me, figure out what I can do differently in 2018.
4. Get excited again for the holidays! Plan activities on my days off to really take advantage of the festivities. Whether it is Disneyland to see the holiday fireworks or look at the houses at Christmas Circle, sharing these experiences with people I care about definitely sparks joy.

Before this holiday season, I’ve always heard of people feeling low in December, but could never wrap my head around it because of the holiday high I usually felt. This post is very much a personal reminder that it’s okay to feel negative feelings as long as I can attempt to turn them around.