courage ernest hemingway

April: My Month of Courage

“Courage is grace under pressure.” – Ernest Hemingway

I have never described myself as someone who is courageous. In fact, it is probably the reason why I never identify with most protagonists in fantasy novels that exude this quality all too often. I’m quite the opposite — an overthinker, an observer, hesitant and nervous, very much a side character.

But then I discovered this quote by Ernest Hemingway and it really resonated with me. Courage doesn’t have to be persevering against danger or being completely fearless. Instead, this quote redefines courage for me in a way that I feel like I can actually accomplish. Courage can be thought of as a sense of calm and poise in a situation where you actually feel scared. Staying composed and aware of a situation is something I can strive for instead of trying to rid myself of all my fears.

It is a very fitting theme for April. I have already started to push myself out of my comfort zone. Yesterday, my sisters invited me to hike Devil’s Punch Bowl, which was the most challenging hike I have experienced. Despite my fear of public speaking, I have a beginners calligraphy class in the works with the public library. But most importantly, I am experiencing the transition of leaving the safety of a job I held for four and a half years and starting over in a new career.

If anything, now is the perfect time to be courageous. I know that my fear and anxiety won’t magically disappear, but I’ll try to take a deep breath and do my best to be graceful.

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My Own Take On Self-Affirmations

Self-loving affirmations are difficult for me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t look in the mirror and tell myself, “I am enough” or “I am beautiful.” My default mindset is to look in the mirror and figure out what I can work on to be better. In other words, I have a negative focus with a positive vibe. It’s tricky. So when I look in the mirror to try and say, “I am pure beauty,” I will tack on, “If I work on my skincare regimen” or, “But my anxiety makes me less beautiful, especially on the inside.” I have always struggled with the “fake it ’till you make it” mindset in other aspects of my life, so it is no surprise that I can’t fake myself into believing these affirmations.

I was the type of student who learned from taking notes and making piles of flashcards, so I tried writing affirmations over and over. But I could not shake the image of Harry Potter writing, “I must not tell lies” in Order of the Phoenix. And even though that comparison is silly, I still could not believe what I was writing.

I did not want to give up on affirmations. You can’t go wrong with positive statements about yourself. I knew I was just having a difficult time identifying what worked best for me.

Then I found it! I started using affirmations as journal prompts. It required me to write out the statement to assert it into my memory, but then I just delved in and asked myself some questions:

  • What does this affirmation look like in real life?
  • Why don’t I believe in this affirmation? More importantly, is that reason out of my control, in the past or an external force?
  • OR! Why do I believe this? What is the truth in this affirmation?
  • How would I benefit from believing in this affirmation?
  • Do I want to believe in this affirmation?
  • What can I do [today/this week/this month] to believe in this affirmation?

Some words of advice from Jen Sincero in her book You Are A Badass, “This can’t be just rattling off nonsense-you have to feel it and want it and get worked up by it in order for it to work.” For me, being able to take an affirmation and play around with it like a rubix cube, really gets me involved and helps me find the practicality in self-loving affirmations.

I would love to hear about other people’s experiences with affirmations. Do you have any favorite self-loving affirmations or affirmation practices?

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